I usually write all the stuff that happens and it seems perhaps to many as easy going and that all goes as planned. Maybe some happy faces here and there and smooth transitions among schedules...Have to admit it's not. Much of it isn't easy and there is a lot of stress regarding support from entities that help this to happen.
These last weeks have been a battle in itself of conflicting schedules with the helping entity that supplies us with horses and the gathering of many extras for massive scenes. Independence day is coming and all institutions are wholly devoted into marching rehearsals for weeks and weeks that clash with the carefully planned schedule. Making actors and hundreds of extras coincide in time and space is not only time-consuming but frustrating when the entity changes plans without telling you or consulting you at the last second. "Orders are orders" - they say, and can't fight against that as it's understandable...but forces me to stay in one location for weeks and weeks waiting for the right day or time to come, prolonging and delaying my schedule for weeks, upsetting me in the end and building up a lot of tension and stress, for time is running and each day isn't cheap for I have to feed and move many people around. Need to finish this in a couple of months. Usually don't mention this for many say that even writing it down is like declaring a statement to happen or bringing uneasiness into your life...but well, life is what it is and all isn't roses, smiles or sunny skies. I even see myself in the mirror and can see the stress taking its toll on me. Aging a bit faster than normal I guess. Funny how long exposures to deep stress ages you quick. No wonder we see here a president enter office looking younger and by the time he is out he looks worn out and with grey hair. Running around trying to make the people that decide is very emotionally consuming. Makes you feel alone in all these. I know I have friends here that help me a lot. Can't deny their lovely support and may God have them in their list of favorites but....can't help feel alone.
Wish I had a magic wand to arrange it all to fit and finish this quickly. Would have been done like seven months ago but....things are like they are. When all this is done, it will be a bliss and even though I tell everybody that it will be like the last day at school, I'll personally be happy to finish this ordeal called "institutionalized stalling". Being at the mercy of people who don't see you as a priority is simply so frustrating.
But this dream...this crazy dream is slowly coming to the light....and it's worth every wrinkle and tear.